Thursday, October 7, 2010

Stable!!!!!!!



This?

Is the face of a little girl who still has stable scans one year off treatment!

This?

Is the face of a little girl who will be celebrating her 10th birthday in 2.5 weeks.

This?

Is the face of a little girl, who gets to just be a little girl for the first time since she was about 4.

And this?

All makes me absolutely giddy with joy! I sobbed today in front of God and everybody in my clinical group at the hospital when I got the news. I will be calling the surgeon tomorrow to schedule the surgery to remove her port.

Love to all~

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A year later

It has been just over a year since Mandy had her last chemo. She has pink in her cheeks, bounce in her step, thick and healthy hair and an energy that seems to know no bounds. Tomorrow we go for the one year scan. If that is stable, we will schedule the surgery to remove her port and let go of the last of the physical reminders of the war. We are going to make a necklace or maybe a Christmas ornament out of it. Just so we always know that ultimately, we were very blessed that out of something so scary and so ugly came something beautiful.

Alannah is 16 now and will get her drivers license soon. If you have an errand to run, she's your girl... she will be more than willing to drive anywhere for any reason, I'm sure. Now, if only she had a car.

Zachary is in middle school now and slowing discovering that maybe girls don't have cooties. He is as funny and charming as ever, God help me.

I started school almost 6 months ago. When I grow up, I want to be a nurse and in another two years or so, hopefully, I will be. Pediatric oncology has my heart and I really want to be able to do something there. But, I just finished my labor and delivery rotation and absolutely loved it. I am truly passionate about nursing and really feel like this is the career I am supposed to have.

And, after 19+ years, Ronnie and I are no longer married. The why's and how's and coulda, woulda, shoulda's don't matter now. I am grateful for our marriage and for our children. And I believe, we can both go forward and find joy and love and happiness.

Hopefully, tomorrow brings more news of stable tumors. I will let you know.

Love to all~

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Thank you!

So, we threw a great big party, to watch the first broadcast of the Eukanuba National dog show in which the ACE awards were presented to 5 amazing dogs and their people. You can see Mandy and Poodle's clip from the show here

About 100 of the people who have embraced our family over the last two years joined us and many more who were there in spirit. We put together a little video to say thanks to some of those people. Unless we used the song "Freebird," there simply wasn't going to be a song long enough to sufficiently be able to thank everybody. But, these lyrics were far more appropriate, so, here we go, from us, to you ... Thank you!



Love to all~

Thursday, January 28, 2010

From the St. Petersburg Times

Columnist Ernest Hooper captures Mandy's story and our family's journey beautifully. We share the link with gratitude.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The big night

On Saturday night in Long Beach, Calif., thousands of spectators learned of a wonderful friendship between Mandy and her Poodle.

You know Electra's story by now; she was the national winner of the Award of Canine Excellence from the American Kennel Club. You know that Electra, or as we know her, Poodle, was given to Mandy by Jane and Cathy, and our hearts barely have room for the gratitude we feel for their generosity. You know that Poodle played a key role in Mandy's recovery as Mandy endured months of chemotherapy.

What you need to know is how incredibly beautiful my bride, my little girl and her dog looked on Saturday night as they took to the ring to accept the award.


Words can't describe how proud I am of all three of them.

Friday under the lights

Some random shots from Mandy's day Friday in Long Beach:


Mandy and Poodle at the photo shoot Friday afternoon.


Finished with their close-ups.


Mandy opening one of many gifts she received.

Mandy with Ronald Rella (left) and Neil Singer of the American Kennel Club at Friday night's dinner. The AKC was incredibly generous to Mandy and our family.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Photo shoots, meet-and-greet, dinner parties ... the life of a star

They say it's not easy being a star. They've never talked to Mandy. As the dad of a diva, I can tell you that little girl can do just fine in the spotlight.

Our blonde bombshell and her canine friend, Poodle, have taken Southern California by storm. Her smile lit up Long Beach, Calif., today as preparations were completed for their appearance in the AKC/Eukanuba National Championship, which begins Saturday.

Mandy, Poodle, and Natalie joined the other winners of the AKC Humane Fund Awards of Canine Excellence for a dinner party Friday night. Poodle is among great company; these are some wonderful dogs that are being honored this week.

I realize that you're not here to read my turns of phrase; you're here for pictures. Here are some snaps Natalie sent back:


Poodle and Mandy on their way to their photo shoot


Poodle doing what she does best. Once a champion, always a champion.


Mandy playing tug-of-war with Sage, the ACE honoree for search and rescue. This border collie from New Mexico has worked jobs from New York City on Sept. 11, 2001, to Aruba, to post-Katrina, to Iraq. Quite a résumé, I'd say.


Mandy and Poodle, ready for the dinner party. (Unfortunately, Poodle wasn't invited to dinner.)

At 7 p.m. PST on Saturday, Natalie, Mandy and Poodle will walk into the ring at the AKC/Eukanaba National Championships to receive Poodle's honor. For those of us who are missing it live, the show will be broadcast several times on Animal Planet starting on Feb. 6. For all the show times, click here.

When I talked to Mandy on the phone this afternoon, I was struck by how much joy I heard in her voice. She's loving this experience, and after the last couple of years, well, it's great to hear a little girl just enjoying being a little girl. Even if she's being a little girl on a big stage.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Mandy and Poodle's California Adventure

Ronnie here, filling in again while Natalie is off on assignment. And what a fun assignment it is.

Natalie and Mandy and Hero Dog Poodle are in Long Beach, Calif., where the spotlight will shine bright (and deservedly) on Mandy and Poodle. Poodle was the winner of the American Kennel Club's Award for Canine Excellence, in the Exemplary Companion category. You can read more about the ACE award, Poodle and all the winners here.

Natalie has been sending pictures back as fast as she can take them. Here are some highlights from the day:


You'll never see bigger smiles at 4:27 a.m. Poodle, Natalie and Mandy headed to the airport.


Poodle and Mandy, on the plane. Poodle ended up with her own seat.


At the American Girl store in Los Angeles.


Hooray for Hollywood!

As for the award, I'm comfortable with saying there are few dogs more deserving of recognition. It's not a stretch to say Poodle was a key component in helping Mandy through her treatment.

This post pretty much sums up what Poodle is to Mandy. Here's the thing to know about Mandy: At heart, she is a caretaker. And it made her heart full to be able to take care of something the way she was being taken care of while she was in treatment. Poodle helped ease Mandy's mind, which without a doubt also helped her physically.

I don't throw the "hero" term around loosely, but it's certainly fair to say Jane Myers and Cathy McGinnis meet the criteria. Jane and Cathy were Poodle's owners (and know her better by her real name, Electra), and it was Jane who gave Mandy this gift. "Eternal gratitude" is insufficient to sum up our feelings for that gift.

Natalie and Mandy will have a whirlwind couple of days Friday and Saturday -- interviews, photo shoots, the award presentation. Alannah, Zachary and I are holding down the fort back in Florida. We'll pass on the sights as we receive them.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Hope for Anissa

As you give thanks this week, Natalie and I ask that you keep a very special family in mind.

Our good friend Anissa, who has been a source of hope, inspiration, love and soda-coming-back-out-the-nose laughs for Natalie, our kids and me over these last couple of years, suffered a massive stroke on Nov. 17. Anissa has been a shining light for us as we traveled the pediatric cancer road together; her youngest daughter, 5, finished leukemia treatment a year ago.

Anissa, 35, is relatively stable now, but it was very touch-and-go in the first few days. She has not regained consciousness, and a very close eye is being kept on her blood pressure. We’re seeing some very good signs, however; even as I write this, Natalie called to tell me that Anissa made some very deliberate hand movements. Every bit of progress is good progress.

Natalie has been at her side since about seven hours after she got the news; Anissa and her family moved to the Atlanta area in May, and Natalie got there to help as fast as the Georgia State Police would allow.

The kids joined Anissa’s family this weekend, and they’re providing important support for Anissa’s kids (an 11-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter, in addition to the aforementioned 5-year-old). Mandy has already organized several tea parties for the large contingent of American Girl dolls who now fill the family’s house; Zachary and Anissa’s son are keeping gigabytes worth of home entertainment very busy; and Alannah is providing her always calm, steady helping hand wherever she is needed.

After our friend Mary Ann and I dropped off the kids Saturday, I had to leave Sunday to follow work obligations in Canada. (They tell me I missed Thanksgiving; up here, it was in October north of the border.) It’s never easy for me to do that, but I know that the folks in Georgia are in very good hands (Natalie’s hands are the best, not only to look at and hold but to handle tough situations.)

Support is pouring in from near and far; Thanksgiving dinner is taken care of, Anissa’s wide social network has pulled together in prayer, and Anissa herself, besides being full of love, is even fuller of fight. She has her husband at her side, and lots of hope around her — all the necessities are in place to help her navigate the road ahead.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Flu-like behavior

It's Ronnie here, guest-posting as Natalie and Mandy are away from home and computer tonight, just in time for me to get home from two weeks in Canada.

Mandy and Natalie are hanging out at All Children's Hospital tonight. Mandy's showing some "flu-like symptoms," three words that have been typed by an awful lot of people over the last several weeks.

Mandy woke up Saturday morning vomiting. No big deal; kids get upset stomachs and stuff all the time, and even Mandy's allowed an upset stomach every once in a while. I got my update on that situation before I took off this morning from Vancouver.

I had a connection in Denver; she had vomited again, but was restful, and most importantly, not feverish. Still no big deal; Zofran and Ativan were doing their jobs to calm her tummy.

By the time I landed in Tampa, well, it was a big deal, because now there was a fever, going up and going up fast. When I made my "Honey, I'm home" call, Mandy and Natalie were already in St. Petersburg.

The fever has apparently peaked at 103. Rapid flu tests are showing negative, but rapid flu tests are notoriously inaccurate. Counts and such are pointing the general direction of something, well, flu-like. Tylenol has joined Zofran and Ativan to keep Mandy comfortable.

We'll find out more in the morning, when the real flu tests come back. Mandy's going to stay overnight, because it's a long ride to the hospital, and we want to make sure that fever stays down before she comes home. Whether it's flu or merely "flu-like," we want it go away.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Nine years ago today, I became a mom for the third and final time.

Eight years ago today, I learned that Mandy's life journey might be difficult...scary...and courageous.

Seven years ago today, I learned there was a tumor, or more accurately, the potential of a tumor.

Six years ago today, I looked at a toddler, with a beautiful spirit and a gorgeous dimple that never failed to melt my heart.

Five years ago today, I had a little girl in preschool, full of spunk and a zest for life.

Four years ago today, we were in a hospital room, trying to figure out what was causing the unexplained neurological episodes.

Three years ago today, I wanted to believe the worst was behind her.

Two years ago today, I had no idea that every thing was about to change.

One year ago today, I watched my baby girl spend her birthday recovering from chemo the day before.

Today, I look at a little girl who is a warrior, an optimist, a believer. She has a stubborn streak, is opinionated and is learning to advocate for herself. She has been through more in nine years than a lot of people deal with in a lifetime. She has taught me how to smile, how to look for a way and a reason to laugh, how to dig deeper than I ever thought possible for a strength I never knew I had. She has shown me that at any given moment, all that really matters, is just that....THAT MOMENT.

It is a gift to be her momma, one I am forever grateful for.

Happy birthday, Mandy. I love you more than words can possibly express. Today you turned 9 and to paraphrase one of the best birthday wishes you got all day... I expect/ hope/ dream/ plan for at least 91 more.

Love to all~

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Today

It has been one helluva week. And one I promise to recap in greater detail later. But, today let's leave it at the text I sent out after Mandy's appointment in Orlando today.

No surgery! No biopsy! No more chemo!! Right now, she is officially OFF TREATMENT! And right now, that ROCKS!!

All of those things MAY come to be at one point or another. There may be surgery someday. There may be a biopsy someday. There may be more chemo someday.

But, today nineteen long months of chemo comes to a successful end. And today? Is all that ever really matters. And today, is good! Really, really, really good.

Love to all~

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Next week

Mandy has been feeling good since we got home from the hospital, which is good, in the vast majority of ways. In a few ways, it is almost more concerning. If the event on Sunday had led into a bout with a stomach bug or the flu or whatever, it would have explained a lot. But, she feels fine.

I have spoken with the NF clinic in Orlando, where she was just seen about a month ago. At the time, they expressed a great deal of concern about the left parietal lobe area. They felt like it was going to definitely require intervention at some point.

I wasn't quite prepared for that "at some point" to be quite so soon.

The docs over there want a second MRI and feel at this point that most likely a biopsy of that area will be in order.

So, we have several appointments next week, over to Orlando for an MRI, Tampa for what is supposed to be her last chemo before a break, back over to Orlando to have a round table discussion with all the docs to come up with the proper plan.

It will be a difficult week ahead.

As always, we are so thankful for all our friends who continue to amaze me with just how much, how willingly and how often they are willing to step up and help however needed. When I sign off on these posts with "Love to all~" know that those are not just words. It is a statement of just how blessed you make us feel. You all show us so much love and we are truly grateful for each and everyone one of you. Please know we love you all right back.

Love to all~

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Home. Do we have answers? Not sure...

We were discharged this afternoon after completion on the EEG and after the MRI report came back. I am so stupid tired that I am just going to make this very quick, unfortunately I can't make it to the point.

Here's what we know:

The bizarre bloodwork spike....
The docs feel this could be indicative of a seizure and the bodies stress response to it.

The EEG was normal, which I am told decreases, but does not rule out seizures.

The MRI was essentially stable. Extensive myelin vaucoulization, left parietal
lobe still noted that enhances with contrast, bilateral optic gliomas
still noted with intraorbital components.

The CT did note the myelin vaucoulization, as well as noting the left parietal lesion.

Thing about the two radiology studies, the CT did pick up the left parietal lobe area, that coupled with the fact that it is enhancing on MRI makes it almost definitely a structural mass, meaning a 2nd tumor.

What happened on Sunday behaved very much like a seizure or like the
events back in 2005 that were never diagnosed. We searched for a year for an answer to those episodes. We went to Dallas for a doctor. We went to Birmingham, AL for a doctor. We spent countless hours in doctors offices and inpatient in the hospital. And no one could ever figure them out. It was heartbreaking and incredibly debilitating to Mandy. They were happening several times a week at the worst point. Eventually the rule became, as long as she wasn't unconscious for more than 30 minutes, don't bother going to the ER. They didn't know what to do to help her. We hit 29 minutes once. It was pure hell. And the longest 29 minutes of my life.

As for Sunday, she was perfectly fine before the episode and fine within several hours after, and has not had another episode since. However, frankly, we are not optimistic that another one won't occur. Given her history, the doctors certainly aren't optimistic that it was a one time event either, and were very honest about that. I was sent home with the eerily familiar instructions of 2005, "Call us when it happens again." They were not certain they were seizures, but were not certain they were not either. They did not want to do anything further at this point as far as treatment goes for the potential seizures, or not.

When I got home I called her regular neurologist and gave him the run down of test results. He has been her neurologist since 2003 or 4...I can't remember for sure, but a long time. He was her primary through all the uncertainty back in 2005. He was 110% certain that Sunday's event was a seizure. The convincing factor for him? The crazy spike in white count and ANC in the bloodwork. He is so sure he was ready to call in a prescription for seizure meds right that minute.

I also spoke with my friend, who was also Mandy's geneticist back many moons ago when we still needed a geneticist. I tease her that she is a one stop shop for me as she happens to be married to a neurologist. She concurred that she was certain it was a seizure.

So, what to do? Seizure meds or not to seizure meds? We are thinking on that.

The fact that her head turned to the right during the episode on Sunday and that the area in the left parietal is almost now 100% certain to be a second tumor does concern me greatly. The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body. So,a head turn to the right would stem from the left side of the brain.

She only has this week and next week left for chemo and then she is done. For now.

We have to remove the chemo to know if that area will do anything. We can't leave her on it indefinitely. I get that. And I agree. But, to take her off chemo, especially with this development scares the ever loving crap outta me. When we remove the subduing factor of chemo will that tumor take off and grow like crazy? No one knows.

That, among other reasons is why we are so careful about how we present this "end of chemo" to her. It's a break. We hope the break last a long time, forever even. But, we have to temper that with a degree of realism.

It probably won't.

The fact is, Mandy has neurofibromatosis. She lacks a tumor suppressor gene. Her body doesn't know any better now not to grow a tumor than it did before. The optic glioma is still there and now this 2nd tumor is there. And with the addition of the potential seizures..... it's a chemo break. I just hope and pray a break is the right thing to do. And that it lasts.

And now, I am beyond exhausted. I am not even entirely sure that this post is the least bit coherent. If not, I apologize. If you have a question I didn't answer or I didn't answer coherently, feel free to ask. But, in the meantime, I think I have amassed a total of 4 hours sleep since Saturday night. So, I am going to bed. Have to be up at 5 to get two kids to school and one to chemo. Ronnie comes home on Friday. Zachary starts his audition process for the 5th grade musical tomorrow. He desperately wants a big role. Send him some good mojo, if you would. Alannah had seatiing auditions at her youth orchestra last night, that she actually managed to make it to, due to some wonderful friends. Good mojo for her too. It is so hard to have our family scattered to the winds like that. I was so happy to be able to hug all three of my kids tonight. They have been worried and scared, but rise to so much more of a challenge than they should ever have to. They are amazing kids, all three of them and we are so blessed to have them.

A million thanks to a million people for all the love and prayers and help with Alannah and Zachary and food and visits and and and the list goes on and on. We are oh so blessed to have you all and so incredibly grateful.

Goodnight and

Love to all~

Monday, September 21, 2009

It's after midnight...

It's 12:07 am in Room 261. Mandy and I are both exhausted. She JUST fell asleep. Like minutes ago. Hospitals are not terribly conducive to rest and relaxation.

This is where things stand today, tonight, this morning....whatever.

I have the CT report in my sweaty little palm. It reads

"Impressions:
1. No acute intracranial process identified.
2. No evidence of intracranial hemorrhage.
3. In this patient with history of neurofibromatosis, change of myelin vacuolization part as read in correlation with prior MRI of 06/25/2009.
4. No convincing new abnormalities seen.

Findings:
Computed tomography of the head was preformed without the administration of intravenous contrast material.

In this patient with history of neurofibrmatosis, optic pathway glioma and extensive myelin vacuolization as seen on prior MRI's, the most conspicuous CT signal abnormalities are seen with low attenuation identified bilaterally medial basal ganglia/globus pallidus.

Left parietal lesion only faintly visualized on this CT study.

There is no evidence of acute intracranial hemorrhage.

There is no shift of the midline structure."

We had the MRI today. And though I looked at the disc and have my amateur radiologist opinion, I will wait until the actual professional report to post those findings. She is hooked up to the EEG now, and will remain so for a while, at least 24 hours, possibly longer.

Counts were back to to normal for her today ANC 1100, WBC 3.36, platelets 292. Which makes that whole bizarre increase yesterday even more bizarre.

Hopefully, we will have a better idea tomorrow. I remain terrified that it will be a repeat of 2005 and we won't know what's going on. But, I am equally terrified that they will diagnose something that would be equally or even more scary.

I want to just take a second to throw out some thank yous. It truly does take a village to raise a child, but lemme tell ya, you really have to lean hard on your village in times like this. And boy oh boy, does our village step up.

Charitta and family who are housing and caring for Alannah, the Coopers and now Anne who are housing and caring for Zachary. Jane and Greg and gang who are housing and caring for the dogs. Kim and Mary Ann who went all kinds of out of their way today to make sure that Alannah didn't miss seating auditions at youth orchestra tonight. Amanda who came to visit bearing a mocha for Momma and a Webkinz and sticker book for Mandy. Angela who came to visit bearing gifts and food and laughs. Kate who, with the help of several Facebook friends came and dropped off a couple of perfect mochas for Momma, a pizza for a starving Mandy and a ton of pastries from Starbucks. A ton of texts and phone calls and messages letting us know that so many people are praying for and loving Mandy, and all of us.

Mandy summed it up when she said, after being NPO(without food or drink) all day long and a sedated MRI and while she was hooked up to the EEG machine, "You know, it was a pretty good day today for being in the hospital."

We are blessed and very thankful to be surrounded by the most amazing friends and neighbors and adoptive family. We love you all.

I am going to try to nap. Will update again tomorrow when I get counts and MRI reports.

Love to all~

Update from Room 261, again

We had a neurology consult this morning. She believed it could have been a seizure and wanted an EEG. Oncology also came in and said they wanted an MRI and agreed with the EEG. Her counts are all back down to normal(for her) range again. The white count was back down to 3.36 at 4am today from 6.0 in the ER last night. ANC was back down to 1100 from 4620 last night. No one is quite sure what to do with that. The ER doc had told me that sometimes a seizure can falsely elevate the white count. But, I don't know how common, or even accurate, that is.

So, the plan as it stands right now is this: She has been put on NPO status(no food or drink) for the next 4 hours. They will first do an MRI. The CT they did last night would only show things like fluid or pressure, not necessarily tumor growth. The MRI will show that, if there is any to show, which hopefully there isn't.

After that they will hook her up for an EEG for about 24 hours. The neurologist will then review that and determine if she wants it for an additional 24 hours or not.

She is still feeling fine, is bored out of her head and now hungry. Hopefully, these tests will give us something to go on. I am hoping maybe the really bizarre bloodwork will give them some ideas...but, I don't know. I am just really hoping and praying this isn't the start of something like what happened back in '05 that no one was ever able to figure out, diagnose or treat.

At this point, I am just hoping for answer and not to have that nasty cycle she had back that start up again.

We love our hospital and doctors, the one thing that is a bummer is that there are no private rooms, even on the oncology floor. So, we are about to be joined by a 3yo roommate.

That's about all I know for now. Will update later when I know more.

Love to all~

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Update from Room 261

A room actually opened up on the oncology floor. So, we stayed. The nurses on the floor are leaning toward seizures. Her bloodwork is all out of whack.
Wednesday
ANC 1920(oddly high), Platelets 339, WBC 4.95(oddly high)

Friday
ANC 1120, Platelets 279, WBC 2.36 (much more normal on all account)

Sunday
ANC 4620, Platelets 272, WBC 6.0 (freakishly high on everything, except platelets, which are a little low from her norm)

We haven't seen number like that since she has been in treatment. EVER. Apparently, sometimes seizures can elevate the white count. Who knew? Something to do with the stress it puts on the body, which makes sense, I suppose. So, we will know more tomorrow when they do her counts. I am told the anti viral she was on would not increase those.

She is feeling 100% tonight. I would be happier if she were sick, frankly. Because this came on so suddenly and left so completely it is more concerning for what it COULD be then if she had, say, the stomach flu.

So, we are here for tonight. Suspect at least an EEG and possibly and MRI also will be ordered tomorrow. CT today showed no acute changes. But, CT's and MRI's don't always show the same thing. More accurately, and MRI shows more.

So, for at least tonight and part of tomorrow, we are residents of Room 261.

Wonderful friends stepped up and took Alannah and Zachary as Ronnie has to leave for Canada tomorrow at like 4am or something crazy.

That's about all I know for now. Thanks so much for all your prayers and love.

Love to all~

Update from ER

Tonight's broadcast is coming to you from the ER of All Children's Hospital. So, we are going to take a "the facts, just the facts approach."

So, Wednesday went off fine, except for the fact that her counts were kind of wonky. Everything was falsely high, and seemed out of whack. Got chemo, came home, all was fine.

Thursday I get a call from Mandy's teacher that a little girl in her class went home with what was presumed to be the flu. So, Friday morning I called clinic and said she had an exposure, as the plan had been to put any of the immune suppressed kids on Tamiflu if they had a direct exposure.

We get to clinic and she is running a low grade fever. Upon further examination of a sore she had been sporting on her lip for several days it is believed she had/has a herpes infection. Came home with anti-viral. Fever stayed low grade through Saturday afternoon, but she felt fine.

Sunday, she woke feeling fine, acting fine, still no temp. She was in her room and came out with zero color at all and said her head at a 9 on a scale of 1-10. She NEVER complains, so that was a huge statement for her to make. She was also complaining of tummy upset.

She laid on my lap while I paged the oncologist. While she was snuggled into my lap she jerked her head 4-8 times or so in rapid fire form to the right and then threw up.

Her speech was slurred, she was off balance and said her vision was blurry.

The oncologist called back and said to come in. She was very lethargic in the car and sleeping off and on. She threw up one more time on the way to the ER, about an hour away.

By the time we got here, she was stating to improve and her color was coming back a bit. By a few hours later, she seems close to 100%. She is now asking if we can order pizza. This is all scarily similar to "episodes" that happened seemingly endlessly back in 2005 that we never got a diagnosis for.

They did a CT in the ER that showed no acute changes.

I have been given the choice to take her home and follow up in the AM for EEG and possible MRI(but she has an MRI scheduled in a little over a week.) I have spoken to her neurologist who was treating her back in '05 with the episodes no one could figure out. I wrote about those here before click here to read that post.

He said to call at 9am at the office and he will try to get an EEG right away. MRI....we will have to see. If there was anything hugely significant hydrocephalus, significant growth, etc. it would likely be seen on the CT. With an MRI pending in a little over a week, they may just let that one stand.

So, we are sitting in the ER and trying to decide if we should stay here or go home and follow up tomorrow. The good news is she seems to be feeling fine. Counts are good, white count is 6.0, which is normal for the non-chemo population but oddly high for her. It was 2.36 on Friday. That could be from the herpes infection, or possibly even the antiviral, I believe. A white count can be falsely elevated following a seizure too, I am told by the ER doc.

So, I am going to sit on it for another hour or so and then re-asses where she is and see if we are better going home or better staying here. If she has another episode, I would like it to be here, where they can see, assess, medicate if needed. But, I don't want to hang out in an ER just for the heck of it. They don't have a room on the floor, so we would likely be in the ER for the night. Not helpful for her getting some rest.

Ronnie is leaving for Canada in the AM... Kids and dogs have already been dropped off with wonderful people who will watch out for them.

So, there ya go. Will update more later.

Love to all~

Monday, September 7, 2009

The past week

We have had a really busy week with medical appointments. Chemo Wednesday and a trip to Orlando on Thursday to see a group of doctors who are now running a Neurofibromatosis clinic. We got a lot of good information and though some of it was not what we wanted to hear, we feel good about their knowledge of NF and brain tumors.

We went to the American Cancer Society Families R.O.C.K weekend in Orlando this weekend. We came away with some valuable information to discuss with Mandy's medical team. Plus, we got to hang with our buddies the Dicksons and the Cavanaughs. It was a great event, we learned a lot and the kids had a great time.

A bit of housekeeping, just as an FYI, the restricted accounts for all the patients at the Children's Cancer Center are being closed. Any further donation made to the Center in Mandy's name will not be specifically for her as it has been in the past. The donation will now be a general donation to the Center. We will be using our Paypal account specifically for donations for Mandy from this point forward. The information appears over under Mandy's Fund on the right of the page. We have been so touched by so many peoples kindness and generosity. Thank you so much. You have truly lifted our hearts with your love and kindness.

Most importantly, a very special friend lost a very special husband early this morning and two very special children lost a very special father after a long battle with Glioblastoma, the nastiest of brain tumors. Please say an extra prayer for this beautiful family. Tyra and Steve shared a love that was the stuff of movies and novels. He was far to young to be taken by such a dreadful disease. I know the gates of heaven were thrown open wide to welcome such a warm, kind and giving soul. Steve Damm, I am honored to have known you. The world is a better place because you were in it.

Please remember to say I love you often. You can never say it, or hear it enough.

Love to all~

Monday, August 24, 2009

Yesterday... not the Beatles version

I swore I would never be her.

You know the one.

The one you haven't seen, well, ever, as far as you can remember.

She's the older lady at the family picnic. The smell of her gardenia perfume arrives just before the screech of her voice. "It seems like only yesterday I was changing your diaper! You had the cutest little butt ... just like a couple of dinner rolls!" She pinches your cheek with her chubby fingers, completely disregarding that you're 19 now and might file assault charges. You try to smile, and hope the smear of macaroni salad she left on your cheek isn't as noticeable as it feels. She waddles away, but the gardenia stink isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Of course, this was made all the better if your teenage boyfriend du jour was there with you. Better still if she waddles back so she can tell the story about how you got bored once waiting for your mom to show up after a nap and took your poopy diaper off, exposing your cute little dinner-roll butt, and used the diaper's contents to express yourself artisically on your bedroom wall.

Good times.

And though, as I have aged, I now see the merit in -- and have every intention of -- sharing every ridiculous and embarrassing anecdote with my kids future boy- and girlfriends, I swore I would never do the "It seems like only yesterday ..." part.

But, holy cow...my kids start school tomorrow as a sophomore, 5th grader and third grader. And I'll be damned, but it DOES seem like only yesterday.

I remember being a sophomore...ohhh, do I *remember* being a sophomore. And that? Is one scary thought now that Alannah is that age. She is a beautiful girl, inside and out, with a concrete definition of right and wrong. I hope and pray that all we have tried to teach her sticks with her through this time in her life. The next few years is the time when it becomes evident whether or not all those talks took. You know the ones on drugs, drinking, sex, smoking, responsibility, never getting in the car with someone who is drinking, you can talk to me about anything....etc, etc, etc. It is our job now to hold her really, really tight, while letting go a little and to let her know that we all make mistakes at that age, but to pray silently and fervently that none of those mistakes are catastrophic for her.

Fifth grade...the beginning of that inner circle of hell to parents known as adolescence. Zachary is a really good kid, with a heart of gold. But, I have funny feeling his snarky sense of humor(I don't know where he gets THAT. *snort*) is going to get him beat up, or something close to it, sometime in the next 3 years or so. He has a rock hard exterior and is a big mush underneath it all. It is our job to raise a MAN, and all that entails. That is not always easy. It is so much more than teaching him to open ladies doors.... Thankfully, he seems to know a lot of it by instinct. Adolescence is a horrid time. He would never let you know it, but his heart is easily broken...I hope and pray that his adolescence is kind to him. AND to us.

Mandy has been through more by the time she has entered third grade than most people go through in a lifetime. In some ways she is incredibly mature and wise beyond her years. In other ways, she is very young and somewhat behind her peers socially. She can talk a nurse through accessing her port in the most grown up of ways. She can explain to a doctor that she can have propofol as an anesthesia, but not any inhalant due to malignant hyperthermia. But, being 8 comes a little harder for her sometimes. She is an amazing little spirit, with a mothers heart, the strength of an army and a bossy streak. Soon, her only job will be to be 8, I hope. And our job is to try to reteach her how to do that.

So, I swore I would never be her...that it-seems-like-only-yesterday lady. And though I won't say it out loud, as I send them all off into the world tomorrow, I will think, "It seems like only yesterday that you fit in the crook of my arm and puked breastmilk on my shirt at least 8 times a day. I hope the world is kind to you, my little dinner-roll-butt babies."

I will only think those things.

I won't say them out loud.

Because, really? To launch into the whole it-seems-like-only-yesterday speech, I would need macaroni salad. Plus, I don't waddle and I really don't like gardenia perfume. But, I WILL tell every ridiculous and embarrassing anecdote at any and every opportunity. Parenthood DOES have some privileges after all.

Love to all~